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I fell into a comfortable driving rhythm. I listened to a Jill Scott CD. For long stretches of the road trip I thought about the way my life had been going over the past couple of years. I knew that some of my friends were starting to worry about me, even my best friend, John Sampson, and I wouldn’t exactly classify him as a worrier. Sampson had told me more than once that I was putting myself in harm’s way. He even suggested that maybe it was time for a career change. I knew I could go with the FBI, but that didn’t seem like much of a sea change. I could also go back into psychiatry full time – either see patients, or possibly teach, maybe at Johns Hopkins, where I’d gotten my degree and still had pretty good connections.
Then there was Nana Mama’s favorite tune: I needed to find someone and settle down again; I needed somebody to love.  It wasn’t as if I hadn’t tried. My wife, Maria, had been killed in a drive-by shooting in DC that had never been solved. That had happened when Damon and Jannie were little, and I guess I’d never really gotten over it. Maybe I never would. Even now, if I let myself, I could get torn up thinking about Maria and what had happened to her, to us, and how goddamn senseless it had been. What a terrible waste of a human life. It had left Damon and Jannie without their mother.